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Mama's Disability Holds Me Back Some Days

Mama’s Health Challenges

I have health challenges that I do a good job of hiding when I’m out and about on my so called “Good Days”. Most people would never know I have such pain and limitations. When I drop off of life’s radar most of my friends just think I’m out hanging with other friends, when I’m really home trying to get my body moving. I don’t like to feel sorry for myself and I know friends/family don’t want to hear about my illness every time they speak with me, so I keep quiet about it mostly. Most friends/family think they would be ok with hearing about it all the time, however I know it gets old and it’s a downer to hear someone complain all the time. The past month it’s been hard to be quiet about how I feel because my body is not my friend lately. I’ve missed playdates/classes, rescheduled coffees, bailed on events and haven’t stayed in touch with family/friends as much as I’m used to.

So, your first question is probably what’s wrong with Mama and for how long has she been this way? I remember as far back as elementary school when I missed many school days or came home early because I just didn’t feel well…I wasn’t sick with a cough or fever, yet my body hurt all over. My mom was skeptical, but always trusted in me….thanks to her being a super protective Italian Mommy she, mostly thinks with her heart when it came to her little ones. Once I was older, we got a diagnose that I had Rheumatoid Arthritis & (what is now called) Fibromyalgia. I have good days and bad days. The Fall is the worst time for my body….I think it’s the weather changes.

I would love to connect with other people out there in similar situations. What is your day like? How do you deal with your disability and taking care of your little ones?

8 comments to My Disability Holds Me Back Some Days

  • Alicia Muller

    Hey mama, hang in there. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this and I hope you start to get some relief soon. HUGS!

  • victoria o'neill

    Everyone has challenges and it’s so important to let people in to support you. What’s the point of all this networking if you can’t tell the truth about your life……You share so much upbeatness, information and happiness too…..Hey you are REAL! Fantastic! Have you tried any alternative medicine/therapy?

    • You are so sweet Victoria. Yup I’ve tried all kinds of alternative therapies, some of which have worked in the past and of course I’ve tried just about every drug known to mankind. It’s hard admitting my faults, I just want to be a fun person and not a downer with my health issues…ya know?

  • Laurie Belanger

    Really? Hey girl, I’m family (rather extended I know) but I had no idea this was going on with you. I have a good friend and fellow mom in Springfield PA that I would love to introduce you to. She has been struggling with Fibromyalgia for years and is such a good egg. I know a great deal about how hard this is through her. Like you, she doesn’t let it stop her, slow her down alot somedays yes, but not stop her. She organizes garage sales, tutors some, and started selling cool barrettes and bows on lately. She always inspires me. Disabilities are sometimes opportunities in disguise I think. Most of the moms I really admire struggle with something huge. It sucks, there is no way around that, but at the same time there is nothing quite like having a mountain to climb to make one stronger. E-mail me if you are interested in connecting with my friend. She is on FB & I’d be happy to make introductions. I know she’d love your site. :) I’m going to share this article with my MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group too. Thank you for sharing! Big hugs. Love, Laurie

  • Jean Marie

    Hey Chick! You already know my story but I will post the abbreviated version here for others who may feel alone. Kerrianne will be three in January. This month is actually my three year anniversary of when my condition went from feeling flu-ish a day or two here and there to having daily, chronic pain. My body went haywire during my pregnancy with Kerrianne and when she was 8 mos old I was diagnosed with fibromayalgia. That same visit I was told if I was lucky I woul regain 25% of my normal activity level. I’ve since had another child, Jessie, my precious “oops” baby as I call her because of the memory problems I deal with resulting in the missed birth control pill that resulted in her pregnancy. It’s terribly, terribly hard being mommy to my two little ones with this. I still can’t take my daughters anywhere without the help of my mom, other family or a babysitter. I can relate to not wanting to tell all about it, but when I saw myself creating social problems by misrepresenting myself due to word recall issues or forgetting things or having to cancel plans last minute, I felt like I had no choice but to tell everyone I knew what was happening soo they wouldn’t come to their own incorrect conclusions. My daily goal is for fibromyalgia to NOT become my identity, but the limitations it creates make that almost impossible many days. I haven’t worked since my first pregnancy, and right now it looks like I may never step foot in my own classroom again. But I try to stay optimistic and be as active as possible. I belong to different moms groups and I attend as much as I can get the girls to. I’ve even met a new friend with fibromyalgia through one of the groups because a member put us in touch with one another! It’s hard not being able to pack my kids in the car and head to playdates or the park or the zoo on a whim. I have to plan out much of my life around meds or helpers’ schedules or when my husband will be home. And I miss my teaching career terribly! But at my lowest of low days, I watch my precious babies laugh…and the world is OK again! Yesterday my back was so tight and painful I could barely lift them from their cribs and I turned to facebook friends for supportive words to make me feel better. So today I’m paying it forward and hoping I’m doing the same for you! Chrissy, I’m so proud of you for opening up on here about your conditions! It’s very hard to not hide behind a veil of secrecy with these “invisible” diseases, especially when we fight so hard to live normal lives that people then tell us we don’t look like we’re sick. Then add the stigma tha comes with a fibromyalgia diagnosis because there’s no “test” for it yet, and we’ve got an equation that can lead to broken relationships, lost friends, and other hurdles I’ve experienced or witnessed much too often myself, through friends or on support sites. Please know you’re not alone! You’re one of three friends I now have with fibromyalgia in our local area! And I have a 4th in Colorado. All four of us are moms, so let me know if you’d like to be put in touch with anyone. Maybe we couls start our own local support group! (As far as I know Doylestown is still the closest) Thank you for using your awesome website as a forum and place to share about these dreadful illnesses! You should be commended for your strength and courage! It’s never easy to admit we have limitations. And when you have a disease that’s so controversial that there are fibro-friendly docs vs nonfibro-friendly docs, it just seems like so much is stacked against us in this fight to get our lives back! Good luck with your change of seasons flare! I know many of us are struggling and will not feel relief until the spinr thaw starts to arrive. I’m sending lots of gentle hugs your way! Maybe we could all come together through Mama’s Little Helper? :) You’re already doing a wonderful service for all us local mommies…maybe you just started a second one! I’m proud of you, Chrissy! And I’m happy and proud to be your friend! You aren’t alone in this battle!

    • Jean Marie…you are amazing!!! Thank you so much girl. I’m so glad we could help each other through the hard times these past couple years. I actually wrote this post for similar reasons that you told friends and family. I didn’t want everyone to think I was flaking on them b/c I didn’t want to be with them. I wanted them to know I really do love spending time with them and just needed to scale back some of my life when I’m having a not great day.

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